Endless Wonder

Monday, April 22, 2013

my dear Monica sent me this beautiful poem. Somehow, it gives me hope.

Posted by Jeanne at 7:23 AM

Jeanne: Her name is Clara. I've known Clara for eight years, for eight long years she has been my constant companion. Clara is the girl in the mirror, that girl inside me who never stops telling me that I'm not good enough. Clara hates when I eat.. Every day she does her best to convince me to stop. I'd be so much happier, so much prettier if I was only thinner. Clara goes by many names, has many faces. My doctor calls her anorexia, my mother calls her my cross. But to me, she is just Clara. Most days, my body is Clara's ally. I no longer feel hunger, it now goes beyond the mind games. I must fight to eat, against both Clara and my rebellious self. Every pound i lose, i must battle to win it back again, and Clara fights me every step of the way. She asks me why I want to be bigger.. Some days, i have an answer for her. Most days I don't. But I can't give in to Clara, it's a life or death situation. Every day, I put a smile on my face and try to muddle through. Most days the smile falters, most days Clara gets the better of me. But I pray and work for that day.. the day I don't have to fight to smile.

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