the only way out of the labyrinth... is to forgive.

My sweet little heart-life..

When did you meet death?

When did he enter in, 

into that should-be safe place?

He had no right.

Did you feel fear, sweet?

As the rest of us lived on..

did you weep?

Did you feel pain

or pass gently out of life?

I wish I had been there

To hold you as you died.

I wish I had known.

I trusted blindly in your life.

I should have thought and prayed.

I should have held my heart to you.

Until the blood came I was ignorant

that your life had passed.

I wish it had been I, love

I who was taken.

I had already lived.

now i live without you.

Maybe sometimes it's worth fighting.

I have grown increasingly addicted to the pain. But today someone told me why it's worth fighting.. Because even though I love that pain.. i don't need to see that blood anymore. I need to let it stay inside and make me strong. The pain makes my heart ugly. I guess I never considered that, but it makes sense. How can I love sufficiently if I am hurting myself every night? Maybe I have been building up walls. Maybe it's time to learn to be alone, and shatter those walls all by myself. '