Green Tulle and Letting go.

I learned a very important lesson this week.
It all began with a dress. A beautiful, perfect, tulle confection that I am going to be costumed in for the Emerald City in the Wizard of Oz.

It looks a lot like this. Only, it's all the green of the halter top, and instead of being a halter, it comes off the shoulders. I'll post pictures of it as soon as I get some! Hopefully Saturday.

Kelsey gave it to me to try on, on Monday, and I was so very happy as soon as I saw it! Its so gorgeous and vintage! But as I tried to zip it up, it wouldn't go.
I almost panicked. I stared into the mirror, and saw all the extra weight that was keeping me from this dress.
Then I struggled with that zipper, and after a long fight, during which Kelsey asked me twice if I was okay in the closet, I finally had that dress on.

And it was perfect, with one problem only. I couldn't breathe.

And I wanted to wear that dress so badly, I felt like I couldn't tell anyone that it didn't fit right. so i came out, and smiled, and showed her the dress and how perfect it was.

But I was scared. how could i wear it? Should I tell someone it was too small? But i wanted to wear it so badly. So I kept quiet and hoped. I didn't know what to do... should I lose the weight? No.. that was impossible. But it seemed to me the only solution.

Thankfully, I was wrong about that. I asked my mom after much deliberation, and she promised that she'll be able to fix it. Thank God!

I'm so happy to be able to wear the dress, but most of all, I'm proud of myself for being brave and letting go.

kateri today :)

today, I made Kateri laugh for the very first time! so exciting!

Here are a couple pictures I took of us:

she's SO CUTE! 

MONICA.

so. do you know, i love Monica!

here's why!

We do crazy things like putting on face masks to take pictures.....

putting wash-out hair dye in our hair.....

Monica is so encouraging. We were able to have a lovely sleepover last night, and it was so much fun!!! She's such a great friend. 

i dont even know.

yayyy!

this picture is my ultimate favorite thing. there's something about it... its seriously so hilarious.

that was funny..... i accidentally was really licking the weight in that picture. so gross.

to conclude, i love monica. i absolutely love that girl. she is fabulous.

ice cream and cake kisses

Today... was a very special day. First we all woke up, and talked, and ate, and were just together. then some of us went to the beach, and we got to spend time with the babies, and it was all wonderful. but it didn't end there! Tonight, we had Charlotte's birthday party. Her birthday was a month ago, but we all wanted to have a good party with the family together. So we had burgers and hot dogs, and then cake and ice cream.

and GUESS WHAT.

i ate ice cream.

I don't remember if I've ever posted about this before, but ice cream is a major fear food for me.

But it was Charlotte's birthday party, and I felt that I should do something for her. and making the sacrifice of eating a fear food seemed like the perfect thing!

So I was brave.

And somehow, charlotte thanked me.

When she was done eating, she was absolutely covered in cake and ice cream. Later, when I'm able to download the pictures, I'll show you. It was insane! So I picked her up out of her high chair and held her a little ways away from me, not wanting to get all messy. Then, I just embraced it. And she gave me the sweetest hugs, and patted my back, and squeezed my neck so tightly. She patted my face, and gave me the sweetest, sloppiest kisses in the world! She even kissed my nose, completing the insane amount of cake on my face.
It was the messiest, sweetest, most wonderful 5 minutes of my life.

God sends so many blessings, but Charlotte is one of the biggest ones He has blessed me with. She brings laughter, tears, and healing. She made me conquer a gigantic fear without even asking it of me.

I love my Charlotte so much.

the beach!

Leaving for the beach tomorrow!! I'm so excited to see Laura and Mimi, and to spend so much time with the whole family! Exams are finally over, and it's about time for a vacation! I'm really just tired out, and it's going to be sooooo good!

the house is a beautiful pink beach-house... (not that crazy fancy but still gorgeous)

the water will be clear blue and warm....

and we'll probably even see dolphins! 

and best of all, have time with the babies. 

ill post pictures as soon as i get back!!