isn't she lovely?

lucky me, i got to spend a lovely day with my sweet kateri, and we took the nicest nap! she is the most precious baby there ever was. so cuddly!

songs of spring

this is a song that always makes me feel so hopeful. It took me a while to understand what it was about,  but it's about the earth! Addressing it like it's a girl. it's such a happy song somehow. I can't wait for summer. But spring is almost as good, once it's sprung!

prom!

The Cherry on Top: It's that Time of Year, Cont . . .
click on the link! quick! click on it! you wont regret it!

teresa took some wonderful pictures at prom! thank you so much, my dear sister!

prom was such a perfect night, i was voted prom princess, and that was such a blessing! i got to wear a tiara, and have my hands kissed, and Brian was such a gentleman. And we rode to prom in a JAGUAR! imagine that! Prom was at a gorgeous country club, where we danced the night away and ate such yummy food, and took so many pictures! I am so blessed to know so many beautiful and sweet people, and I have never had a more perfect time.

Thank you, Jesus, for EVERYTHING! :D

new day:)

“Another page turns on the calendar, April now, not March.

.........

I am spinning the silk threads of my story, weaving the fabric of my world...I spun out of control. Eating was hard. Breathing was hard. Living was hardest.

I wanted to swallow the bitter seeds of forgetfulness...Somehow, I dragged myself out of the dark and asked for help.

I spin and weave and knit my words and visions until a life starts to take shape.

There is no magic cure, no making it all go away forever. There are only small steps upward; an easier day, an unexpected laugh, a mirror that doesn't matter anymore.

I am thawing.” 
----Wintergirls

i think this quote is perfect for today's post.. because it's in April, because I'm getting better, because I feel happy. My mom's been meeting me every day at school to eat lunch with me, and monitoring my other meals too. I was really upset about this at first, but I actually think it's been good! I'm very happy! And i think things are going in the right direction! So, thank God.

sunlight

my dear Monica sent me this beautiful poem. Somehow, it gives me hope.

i love my niece!

me and kateri taking a nap <3

she is so sweet. when she starts off sleeping on your stomach, she scoots herself up until she's all cozy right under your chin! its probably the most endearing thing in the world. so cozy!

I love this picture. That's how I picture prayers... colorful little angels in this dark, colorless world. spots of light that cover dark things with happiness.
and sad people who are struggling with things, they get covered up by the prayers without even knowing it!

the butterfly project, the one where you draw butterflies on the places where you want to cut, that reminds me of this picture too. they protect you.

this is just such a sweet picture :)

the pictures of Clara

I saw these strange pictures the other day, and they really struck me as being so much like anorexia. 

she shows you a picture of yourself, distorting it so you're not satisfied. but she flatters you, saying how beautiful you would be if you conformed to her ideas

then, she paints you into a new picture.. a picture of death.

 she intoxicates you with her sweet poison, leaving you never satisfied, and wishing for more, always more control.

 until you agree, and you begin to feed her. the less you eat, the better she feels about it. and she grows. she becomes stronger and stronger, until you are hers.
















then, the more you go over  to her way of life, she becomes complacent. you are hers in these two pictures, and she thinks she has nothing to worry about. look at her, sitting down so comfortable, with the whip in her hand... Clara is cruel.

 i don't like this part. see, there are two alternate endings. this one is that you go over completely, and you die because of her. i don't like that ending.

but i do like this one. this one is my favorite.. because it shows Clara where she should be, on the ground with no hope of ever getting me back again. and i swear, someday, that'll be me.

"everything will brighten up." and it has!

Recently, a friend sent me this song, and it just made me feel so happy, so i thought i'd share it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?client=mv-google&gl=US&hl=en&v=YCNy815SybY&nomobile=1
It's really hard to stay honest with my food this week, because i'm at play practice for two meals of the day. But.. this song reminds me of the people who i need to be strong for.
It's time to try harder.

There's one of the sweet pictures Teresa sent me last night of little Kateri.. They are in North Carolina visiting Laura, Mikey, and Charlotte, and Teresa has been so wonderful, sending me pictures every day. There is nothing better in the world than coming home from a long play practice, and seeing a picture of the sweetest little baby in the world!

and last of all, Guess WHAT! 

Jamie is visiting from Chicago to see The King and I!!!!!!! I haven't seen him since prom of last year, so it's been almost an entire year! I've missed him so much and i'm beyond excited to see him. 

this is going to be the best weekend ever.