Hard days

It's easy to tend to beat ourselves up for the things we can't help. Right now, my parents are handling this very badly.. I can't count the times I've been threatened with losing privileges in the past week. The week I've been eating as much as possible even though I've been throwing up everything I've eaten. I'm  losing my trust in myself and my family. Our relationships are deteriorating, and honestly, it's breaking my heart. I don't know why they can't just stop handling this situation with anger, when I'm trying my very hardest to get better. I'm just praying for the day we finally get to a new psychiatrist, and they can begin to understand. i don't know how much longer I can handle this.
The temptations to cut are stronger than they've ever been... I've been able to resist them ever since the one bad day. Thank God. But with all the hatefulness in this house, I don't know how much longer i can keep it up.
More prayers, please.
<3