Today's beauty

what do you think of when you think of beauty? I don't know about you, but the first thing that comes to mind is usually perfection. Our culture works to engrain this ideal of perfection into our ready minds. and to an imperfect girl like me, that's often hard to deal with. It's all well and good to tell yourself, "I am beautiful" and try to believe it, but that's not going to do you any good if your perception of beauty is skewed. Clara likes this.. because if we learn to depend on our beauty, we begin to feel like that is all there is to us. "If I'm not beautiful, not perfect, who will love me?" This thought has monopolized my feelings for years. It has made me believe that I am not lovable. Not lovable. It almost hurts to write it. I feel like.. if I don't change this, believe that I can be loved for who I really am, with or without my outer beauty, then I won't be able to see when true love comes along. I don't want to miss my chances. It's hard to trust. hard to believe people when they say, "you are beautiful." Who cares if i'm pretty. So many are, it's not like I'm anything special. The only special thing about me is who I am. Different from every other person in the world. I hope I'll be able to trust it someday.. trust that one "I love you."